I don’t know why but I still feel like an alien in this place.
Probably because I don’t really belong here. Hmmh. But you love it here love, you do.
I remember all our sweet moments while you sit on that bench and I’m sitting on your lap like a baby on a car chair– your arms wrapped around me so cautiously, so gently, so delicately lingered around my slim waist…
Slim? You loved to call it slim even when it’s surrounded by unwanted fats; but maybe that’s the reason why I’m okay with it…
Because it’s unwanted like me. You’re the only one who wanted me, babe. And you keep on sniffing me even when we both know that we smell like barbecue smoke,
Oh love… How amazing, how long has it been?
I always told you, let’s go somewhere else. The wicked leaves stare at me like it knows I’m an outsider and they do know, love.
They’ve memorized the faces here, I told you. But you said: “Then that’s why babe, you should come here more often. So it’d memorize your face and your scent and it’ll know that you, too, belong here as much as I do. Maybe…more than I do.”
And so I touched, caressed that face of yours to whisper how you’re more than this stress you’re in. That in a few sems or few years you’d still make it. I’ll still be your love, your fan, your study buddy.
And I still sit here every afternoon at four. Because I’m still waiting for you to come home.
Love, I already teach in this citadel. Like what we’ve talked about. I am already earning my third master’s degree and after that I’ll be flying to Spain or to London, like what we’ve dreamed of. Babe, the revolution’s over. We’ve won. Where are you? Come home to me.
Because this place only wants me when you’re with me.
And I return here to feel you near me. On that garden were we sang for more than 5 years, had our feet dirty with all that mud from the rain. How you held my hand and kneeled when Bawat Piyesa played.
How in this same spot, you left and promised me you’d come back when the real war’s been won and I wanted to come with you… But love, the war’s won, where are you?
The leaves, this bench, my heart and my being’s still waiting for you.
And by the way, our son will turn five this June.
Wherever you are love, I still love you. I’m still searching for you…
Come home to me. You know where to find me, in our home by this green sea.